One of the things I’ve been thinking a lot about it the concept of luck. During my first conversation with my life coach after I put my two week notice in, I mentioned to her how lucky I am to be able to be in a position where I can quit my job and follow my dream. She quickly challenged that thinking. Was I really lucky or had I simply worked my butt off for the past 3 years to make this moment possible?

She’s right (of course she is, she’s brilliant). When we chalk things up to luck, we’re stripping away our own power and the recognition that we worked ridiculously hard to make our thing happen. Just like I worked hard to be able to quit my job, you’re working hard on your dreams.

You’re the one who successfully networked into that awesome job, You’re the one who created that after-school program, You’re the one who negotiated that fatty raise.

You’re the one making it happen.

Luck is hanging out on the sidelines sprinkling Lotto winners with pixie dust.

Don’t diminsh your power. You’re making it happen.

And I’d love to hear all about it.

Let us know how you’re making it happen in the comments below.

Ironically I saw it posted in the running group I belong to. The running group I have not been meeting for runs because I kept telling myself I was too out of shape to run with them. I felt I needed to start running on my own and build up my endurance & strength first before meeting them for a group run. This makes absolutely no sense. The main purpose of the group is for runners of all levels to come and run. To motivate each other. To build up our endurance and strength together.

For some reason I got it into my head that I was less than a runner because I hadn’t run in a while. That I’m no longer a runner because I can’t run a 10 minute mile. Or because I’ve only been running a couple of miles here and there rather than busting out 8-milers. I shamed myself into thinking I wasn’t a runner. Further, that shame kept me from improving as a runner. I know that I run my strongest when I’m running with someone else. I need the camaraderie and motivation that running in a group brings. But I was holding back from the group because of my own self-doubts.

Claim Your Shit.

If you’re getting out there and running, you’re a runner. Do you write a lovely and heartfelt blog? Hey, you’re a writer. Stop trying to fit  yourself into the specific box society has made for your thing. Define it for yourself. Being a runner doesn’t have to mean running marathons, being a writer doesn’t have to mean publishing books, being an artist doesn’t have to mean showing artwork at The Met. You define what it all means for you. More than likely, you’re already doing it.

Stand tall and claim it.

It all starts with you. If you don’t believe in yourself, then no one else will. If you can’t claim your stuff, no one else will do it for you. Don’t put up invisible barriers to cross or invent imaginary milestones to pass in order for you to stand proudly in what you do. Remember, there are no licenses to earn and no tests to pass.

Just claim it.

Here are a few things I’ve had trouble claiming in the past:

I am a Runner

I am a Photographer

I am a Writer

How about you? What are some things you’ve had trouble claiming? I’ll meet you down in the comments to talk about it.

How many of us even get close to doing this?

How many of us even get to take that chance and work on the things that make us truly happy?

We look at these people and think, ‘well they’re multi-millionaires, of course they can dedicate their whole life to what makes them happy.’ But George Clooney didn’t start out as a top tier actor with the ability to choose his projects. He started as a handyman on The Facts of Life. All of the great people we admire all started somewhere. But at some point they all believed so much in their thing that they just went for it.

Sure, now George Clooney is a household name but there was a time when he was just another person with a dream. He had a dream and he believed wholeheartedly in that dream. He believed so much in his dream that he took the steps to make it a reality. Even if other people thought he was crazy.

And that got me thinking: How many of us are not even fully believing in ourselves?

How many of us not even taking the crucial first step of becoming our #1 supporter?

If you don’t believe in you fully, why should anyone else? Unfortunately we live in a world where ‘following your dreams’ can be viewed as a fruitless and irresponsible endeavor. If you’re serious about making a life built around the things that fulfill you, you are going to face people who don’t get it. You’re going to come face to face with those who doubt your ability to make it happen.

YOU are going to have to believe in your thing more than anyone else in the world.

It’s absolutely necessary to manage this first step, if you want to succeed.

My challenge to you? Believe, baby! What do you absolutely believe to be true about you & your dream? Let us know down in the comments.

Like most of the difficult things I’ve tackled in my life, I had completely underestimated this climb. I was not fully prepared for the sheer amount of physical strength I would be required to display. I was also unprepared for how psychologically and emotionally transformational the whole trip would be. I learned a lot about myself while I was up there on Mt. Adams. And I think my revelations might strike a chord with you too:

You’re underestimating yourself

You are completely undervaluing your strength and power. Stop it. Own up to how unbelievably incredible you are. We all see it and can’t believe that you can’t.That tough stuff you’re dealing with now? You can get through it because you’re strong. Think you’re not good enough to get the job or land the promotion or launch that business? You are but you’re shading your brilliance with your self-doubt. Trust me, you are so much more than you are giving yourself credit for.

You are undeniably brave

I’ll be honest, if someone had asked me in the days leading up to my trip if I thought I was a brave person I would have said no. After going through my mountain climbing adventure, I can’t believe that I ever would have thought that but it’s true. You are brave too. You’re out there traveling around the globe or working hard to support your family. You’re being yourself unabashedly or you’re doing the work to uncover what lies deep inside. You’re chasing your dream, you’re speaking up for what’s right, you’re baring your soul, you’re talking to strangers.

You are Fucking Brave.

I need you to believe it.

No one is judging you

Honestly everyone is so caught up with their own stuff that they hardly have time to notice all of your “flaws.” That assumption that you have about ‘everybody thinking how lame you would be if you do x’ is a false one. People care deeply about you – the person you are at your core. They care much less about the hard, polished shell you’re presenting to the world. They don’t care about your missteps or your weaknesses or your flaws. They’re not interested in judging you. Plus as we already established in the 1st point, they probably think you’re so much more awesome than you think you are.

You have a different definition of success and failure than anyone else. And that’s perfectly ok

I wasn’t able to summit the mountain. I got to about 8,000 feet before I had to listen to my body and call it quits. As I descended back down to the camp with the smaller team, I started to beat up on myself. I felt like a failure. Luckily that didn’t last too long before I realized what I had just done. Once I reflected on the whole experience, I immediately realized how successful the whole adventure had been. My definition of success for my trip was not solely tied up in whether or not I summited the mountain. I had signed up for the trip because I wanted an adventure, I wanted to try something new, I wanted to learn about the principles of hardiness. The trip was a success on all those counts plus some. Stop measuring your life by someone else’s definition of success and failure. Define what it means to fail or succeed for yourself and then live up to it. It will save you gobs of self-abuse in the future.

People are awesome, believe in their goodness

This trip restored my faith in the goodness of people. Generally, people rock. They want to help, they want you to succeed, they are waiting with open arms ready to assist you. And they want to believe in the goodness of you. Believe in people, they generally don’t disappoint.

The biggest takeaway from the whole journey is the importance of stepping outside of your comfort zone. Do things that make you uncomfortable, you’ll learn so much about yourself in the process.

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I did all of this as a part of a class for my Master’s program called Leadership and Hardiness. I created a video talking about my experience as a part of my final project which you are free to watch if you want more insights to what I learned that weekend.

Radio Host – Today’s month is June!

Caller – Hello, I was born in June

Host – Awesome, you’ve already won $200. But for the $10,000 were you born on June 29th?

Caller – Aww shucks. No, I was born on June 3rd.

Host – That’s ok we’re still going to send you out $200. Thanks for calling.

Easy enough, right?

So I’m driving and the birthday segment comes on. And the birthday month is March – my birthday month.

“Oh wow,” I thought, “wouldn’t it be exciting to win $10,000? I should call in.”

But then my little Negative Nelly kicked in:

“Nah, it’s too much of a hassle. I’d have to memorize the number, dial it, probably wait on hold for a bit. Plus I never win anything. Yeah, it’s definitely a waste of time for me to call. I’d never win. Actually, it’s silly of my to even think of calling in. Why would I waste my time on such silly things.”

So I tucked the thought away and kept on with my drive. Until the caller called in and it went a little something like this:

Radio Host – Today’s month is March!

Caller – Hello, I was born in March

Host – Awesome, you’ve already won $200. But for the $10,000 were you born on March 27th?

Caller – Aww shucks. No, I was born on March 22nd.

Host – That’s ok we’re still going to send you out $200. Thanks for calling.

But do you know who was born on March 27th? Me. Had I really just talked myself out of winning $10,000 because I didn’t want to reach over and grab my cell phone? Sounds like it.

How often do we talk ourselves out of perfectly good opportunities? I’m sure you can think of a handful of inner convos that went much like mine. Except swap in calling into a radio show for applying for a promotion or contacting someone you admire in your field or starting a blog or leaving your job to travel the world. The list goes on.

Opportunities are there, waiting for you to jump in with gusto. A lot of the times, it’s not even that the door has closed. It’s literally that we saw the door and just refused to go though it. When the next opportunity – big or small – comes up, take it. Don’t listen to your inner critic, don’t poll all of your friends as to what you should do.

Just take the damn opportunity.

We’ve all heard the saying that good things are hard to come by. If we want anything in this life we have to work hard to get it. I totally agree with that. But the fact remains that sometimes, people are literally waiting to just give you exactly what you want. All you needed to do was show up. We all know those people who seem to always luck into a great position in life. In reality, they’re not any luckier than you are, they’re just doing the work to make sure they are not missing out on the thing they need. They’re showing up.

In order to get anywhere in this crazy world of ours you have to believe in yourself. You have to believe wholeheartedly that they’ll call your birthday when you call in. And when they don’t call your birthday, you have to shake it off and keep your eyes out for the next opportunity.

Take the chance on yourself. Jump at opportunities that come your way. Some will fizzle but others will completely ignite. You’ll just never know unless you make that call.

So believe in yourself. Show up. Do the work. And stop leaving money/experiences/incredible opportunities on the table.

Don’t miss out on 10 Gs because you were too lazy to get your phone.

Be honest – are you talking yourself out of a great opportunity? Let’s chat about it down in the comments!

Image Credit: centralasian

The experience really drove home for me the importance of being comfortable with yourself right down to your core. It is so necessary to be able to bare it all – your thoughts, your passions, your big ideas – to the world wholly and unabashedly. It is crucial to be able to stand up and say “Yep, this is me through and through. Take it or leave it.” When you are completely comfortable with yourself, you can easily use your heart as a guiding star. You no longer have to second guess your decisions because you are totally aligned with who you are at your foundation. When you’re completely comfortable with yourself, you can shake away all of the obligations and should’s and self-doubt and worry. You can just step out and be you.

Think about it this way, if I had let my uncertainty about stripping down get to me, I never would have had the relaxing experience that I needed to have. Where else are you denying yourself from what you absolutely need because you’re not comfortable with who you truly are at your core? Where are you denying yourself from living your passion? Where are you denying yourself from the recognition or love or wisdom that you need to thrive? If you were truly baring it all to the world, what would that look like?

Don’t deny yourself or the world from your true self any longer. Get naked.

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I “slept in” until 9am this morning. Feeling refreshed!

Image Credit: Szift

I was about to hit update when I noticed something – I had put “slept in” in quotes, which would imply that I didn’t really sleep in. For some reason, I felt that I didn’t live up to society’s standard of sleeping in and as a result needed to qualify my statement with quotes. Sure I didn’t sleep until 11am or well past noon but I slept a good 3 hours longer than I usually do. I definitely slept in – no quotes needed.

It got me thinking – where else in life are we living up to someone else’s standard? Are you chasing down someone else’s version of success? Are you basing your life on another person’s opinion of happiness. Where else in your life are you using giant air quotes?

The next time you are feeling unsuccessful or unhappy or unproductive, ask yourself if you feel that way because you’re not measuring up to someone else’s ideas. If you all of the sudden feel the urge to change your life dramatically, make sure you are doing it to align with your own core values and not just because it seems like the thing to do.

Stop living your life in “quotes”.

Have you noticed yourself doing this ever? In what way?

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Need clarity on what your true passion is? Check out my Quickie Guide to Finding Your Passion! It’s 15 pages of soul-searching, passion-delving worksheets to help you dig deep and figure out what makes you tick.

photo credit: Son of Groucho

It’s time to nip those qualifying statements in a bud.

If you don’t pat yourself on the back, then who will? My challenge to you is to Sing Your Own Praises. Be aware of the ways in which you are truly awesome and toot your own horn a bit. Hold your head high and really strut your stuff. Become conscious of when you’re playing down your accomplishments and reverse that dialogue. You Rock. Go ahead and let the world know.

Let me know if you need help, I’d be happy to give you a push in the right direction.

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Kung Fu Panda is about a tubby young Panda named Po who works in his father’s noodle shop but idolizes the Kung Fu heroes in his village. A contest is held to choose the Dragon Master who will protect the village from intruders and Po is “accidentally” chosen as the new Dragon Master. I won’t ruin the plot for those of you who still want to see it but basically hilarity ensues as this clumsy Panda trains to show people he is worthy of being called the new Dragon Master. I was particularly struck by one line in the movie when Po’s father who, in an attempt to console him, reveals that the long-withheld secret ingredient to his famous “secret ingredient soup” is absolutely nothing. His father explains:

“Things become special if people believe them to be.”

Isn’t that brilliant? How often do you scratch your head searching for that missing ingredient that is going to make your life better, faster or easier. You look at others and wish you were as outgoing or as well-spoken or as charismatic as them. You long to possess that special something that is going to put you over the top. But the truth is, there is no super secret ingredient, there is just YOU. The secret ingredient is that you believe – no, rather – you know that something is there. Think about it. What is your secret ingredient? What do you already possess that makes you incredible? What could you accomplish if you used your secret ingredient to its full potential? Who would you inspire if you tapped into your own personal power? And finally, what’s stopping you from doing so?

Channel your secret ingredient and live in it.

Complete the phrase ‘The unique essence that I bring to the world is…’ It can be a bulleted list, a string of phrases, whatever feels right to you. Once you’ve gathered your essence, develop a tagline around it. Every good brand has a catchy tagline. And you’re the best brand there is so go ahead and develop your tagline. As an example, my tagline is: ‘An entrepreneurial spirit with a passion for inspiring people, connecting ideas and building vibrant brands.’

I’d love to hear all about your unique essence as well as your tagline. Do share what you’ve come up with in the comments below.

The unique essence that I bring to the world is…

My Unique Tagline: