It was brutal.

I was absolutely terrible. I couldn’t keep up with the other girls who had been playing soccer seriously for years through AYSO and other club teams. I consistently broke the offsides rule and I missed passes – when someone took pity on me and actually passed me the ball. I probably looked like a sad puppy, trailing behind the other girls as they skillfully played soccer. I knew after the first day that the chances of me making the team were slim. But for some reason I kept going back to the tryouts, night after night for 4 days.

The coach posted the new team up on the window on Friday morning and I reluctantly dragged myself up the hill to check on the results. And low and behold…I had not made the team. This is not a story of working hard and it miraculously paying off. I had no discernable soccer skills, I didn’t deserve to make the team. I was completely embarrassed that I had even wasted my time. I swallowed my embarrassment deep down inside me and hoped that the other girls would be kind enough to never bring the whole incident up again.

A couple of years later while at a party, I was chatting it up with a girl who went to my school but I had only just met. “I know you,” she said upon me introducing myself, “You’re the girl who tried out for the soccer team after never really playing.” I froze but before I could make an exit for the door she continued, “Wow – you’re really brave. I’ve been playing soccer for 9 years and still could never bring myself to try out. But I’ve decided to give it a shot this year. Thanks.” I wish I could say I gracefully accepted her kudos and gave her some more advice on believing in yourself but in reality I mumbled an awkward ‘you’re welcome’ and changed the subject to something less embarrassing to me. It wasn’t until recently when that whole episode came flooding back to me that I really analyzed what had happened there.

Sometimes you are going to fail.

You are going to fail in a truly brilliant blaze of glory.  Your determination, your passion, your sheer love of the thing you’re going after will not save you. You will flop. It is going to suck. But two interesting things come out of it. First, that scar is going to heal and when it does, you will be that much more prepared to not only deal with failure, you’ll also be much more prepared to take bigger risks and go after those big, big goals.

The second thing is people will be watching. And contrary to what you believe, they are not all going to be judging you snootily. People are going to be watching in awe that you were able to take the steps to do something amazing. People are going to be inspired to rethink their own hesitation around their own dreams. Your “failure” represents the fact that you believed in something so wholeheartedly that you were willing to put it all on the line. You were willing to leave it all out there on that soccer field. It didn’t work out and that sucks. But most people never even make it that far. Most people are so scared that they would never dare to step foot on that field.

Go do something amazing this week.

photo credit: ElvertBarnes

Today’s Monday Morning Wake-up Call includes an exciting announcement, 1 simple tip annnnnnd a Happy Jig. All in a lovely 4 minute package!

Need help moving forward on your big dream? There’s still time to grab your seat in my upcoming course, Unleash Your Big Dream! Class begins on Wed 10/5. Can’t wait to see you there. Head here to claim your seat!

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What would it be like to learn from 100+ of the world’s best teachers? For free? For a whole month? This October, you can. Join the World’s Biggest Summit – a FREE online event where you can learn from 100 of the World’s best teachers, including Moi! To grab your free ticket, head to www.worldsbiggestsummit.com

It’s the first Monday in October, how are you preparing for greatness in Q4? Check out my guest post with Made Woman Magazine to learn how to end the year with a bang.

The most important thing you can do is make a decision.

Make a decision.

Decide what you’re going to do, decide who you’re going to be. And then go out and do that thing.

Flip-floppers rarely make history. Indecisive folks are not memorable.

In order to do your awesome work you must make the choice right now that you’re going to do it. Regardless of what stands in your way.

You make a choice every day when you wake up. You choose whether it’s going to be a great day or a crappy one. You choose whether you’re going to take personal responsibility for your life or if you’re going to let someone else dictate your feelings, thoughts and actions. It’s easy to blame external factors for the path your life is taking. It is so much simpler to just sit back and point the finger at all the people and things that are ruining your life.

It’s easy to relinquish control.

But blaming others and external factors for the issues in life gets you nowhere. It gets you no closer to living the life you deserve and just makes you feel hopeless and stuck.

Here are 5 steps for taking back control:

1. Take Inventory – Where in your life are you relinquishing control. Is it at your job? In your relationships? Look at the areas of your life where you are feeling unfulfilled. Chances are, you have given up some of your power in these situations.
2. Prioritize – There’s no need to work through everything simultaneously. Once you’ve pinpointed where you need to step up and take control, decide which area you’ll tackle first. You may decide that taking personal responsibility for your health ranks numero uno – focus on that first instead of overhauling several areas of your life at a time.
3. Banish Denial – There is no room for denial when you’re taking control of your life. There will always be factors that are beyond your control but are you using those as a crutch? How can you work around those factors. Be honest with yourself. Make sure you are depicting an accurate portrayl of your circumstances.
4. Change Your Attitude – In the past you may have taken the easy way out when something went wrong and pointed the finger. You will have to make a conscious effort to make personal accountability your new mantra. Start small. Set an intention when you wake up to have a productive day and stick to it. Don’t allow external factors to influence your mood.
5. Start Taking Action – Make a comittment to change the things that are making your unhappy. Create an action plan to accomplish the goals you set for yourself. Don’t take no for an answer.

The funny thing is, once you make your choice, things have a way of falling into place.

Reach down deep  and make the choice to take control of your life.  Unleash your personal power and shape your life in the way you want it.

In what areas of your life have you given up control? How are you going to get it back?

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Entries close on Tuesday at midnight PST for your chance to win a copy of Sex, Love & Liberation. All you have to do is view the interview and leave a comment telling us what makes you beautiful.

Have a great week. And remember to Just Say No!

Have you ever been so pumped and excited about something and then suddenly lose steam somewhere along the way?

Image Credit: Ms. Mary Mack

So the short answer? Yes! This has totally happened to me. But what should you do when you’ve lost steam on the thing that means the most to you?

When this happens to me, it usually boils down to one of two things:

• Most of the time, I’ve just burned myself out so my body is screaming for a break. If this is the case, just take it easy. Don’t force yourself to do anything until you feel completely compelled to do so. Your body needs time to recharge and rejuvenate, especially if you’re taking on a juicy goal. Chances are you may need some time to just unwind and get back into your groove. Take a break and record your thoughts. If what you’re chasing after is truly for you, then the inspiration will be there when you get back from your break.

• But then there are those times when I lose steam for a project because my heart isn’t in it anymore. Either it’s taken a different shape than I originally anticipated or I’ve just lost interest. Take a step back and think about your why. Why are you working towards this big goal? What is your overall mission in life?  If your why is still super compelling to you, then keep plugging along. If you’re not as stoked about it anymore, then think of how you can tweak it so that it’s serving your overall purpose again. Or drop it.

So my challenge for you on this lovely Monday morning is to take a good look at where you’re currently feeling stuck and evaluate what you need to do about it. Are you burnt out and simply need a quick break or is it time to alter – or hop off completely – the path that you’re on?

I’d love to hear about your stuckiness. Where do you need to re-evaluate? Meet me down in the comments and let’s chat about it! Feeling stumped by a question? Email me and I’ll take a stab at answering it for you:

nblades [@] gmail [dot] com

MMWUC A Bad Case of the Shoulds from Nailah Blades on Vimeo.

When have you come down with a case of the shoulds? How to combat it so you can get back on track?

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There a lot of new things happening around here at Polka Dot Coaching. Check out this post to stay up to date!

Please enjoy this short 3 minute video. I’ll meet you down in the comments!

Monday Wakeup Call: Your Declaration of Independence from Nailah Blades on Vimeo.

Here’s a link to my personal Declaration of Independence that I mentioned in the video

Miss last week’s video? Here it is, Gumdrop!

What will you declare this week? What is oppressing you right now? Let us know down in the comments!

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Today’s Wake-up Call is coming to you in video format – say what! And is all about feeling propelled to action rather than forcing yourself to check things off of your list. It’s about wanting to do things rather than feeling like you should. Please enjoy this short 3 minute video. I’ll meet you down in the comments!

And yes, they selected the worst possible frame to use as the picture for this video. Thanks a bunch, Vimeo.***

Monday Wake-up Call: Stop Forcing It! from Nailah Blades on Vimeo.

What do you think? Can you roll with inspiration for the next week? I’d love to hear what you think!

***Update – Thanks to AHA!braham for teaching me how to update the thumbnail on the video clip. With his help, I was able to select a more appropriate frame!***