Polka Dot Coaching » Comfort Zone Blasting

Rethinking Vulnerability

Nailah — Thu, 17 May 2012 18:03:06 +0000

Gather ‘round folks, it’s confession time.

I am not good at showing my vulnerable side. I’m great at showcasing my strong side, I’m excellent at putting a positive spin on things, I’m even fantastic at helping other be vulnerable – creating a space where they feel comfortable to let their guard down. But I am terrible at doing it myself.

I don’t cry in front of others, I push through pain. I’m a bit of a tough cookie. And I like being seen that way. I admire strong, courageous women. I strive to be a strong, courageous woman. However, I know logically that courage is not just about bravery or strength. Vulnerability takes a tremendous amount of courage. It takes courage to allow people to see you – all of you.

In Brené Brown’s TedTalk on Vulnerability she explains that the word courage is derived from Latin and originally meant ‘to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.‘

It takes courage to share all of yourself. It takes courage to be imperfect.

Vulnerability is necessary to connect with others on a deeper level.

I’m not there yet but I’m working on it.

On Talking to Strangers, Over-thinking, and Broadening your Horizons

Nailah — Tue, 15 May 2012 13:03:50 +0000

I read this recently on Pam Slim’s blog. She was talking about the trap that many business owners fall into by believing that their market is over-saturated. There are no opportunities because everybody is a life coach. Or doing tele-seminars is done to death. But the reality is that the people we interact with most on twitter and facebook are people like us. They’re in our world. They get the things that we get. That doesn’t mean that everybody does. Pam’s advice was to get outside of your regular zone and network with the people around you. Are there people out there who need you but have no idea that you exist? This simple but profound advice really stuck with me and I began thinking of all of the ways I can connect with other people outside of my regular circle.

I was deep in thought, mid-way through eating a slice of pizza at a crowded pizzeria when all of a sudden a lady asked if she could sit next to me on my table. I smiled and said no problem and went back to thinking through my current dilemma. The lady broke into my thoughts once more to ask about my wedding ring. It turns out both of our rings were very similar. This turned into a 30-minute conversation about our weddings, our husbands and eventually our careers. I was intrigued by her career as a producer at Univision and she was equally intrigued about my career as a coach. We exchanged cards and both went our separate ways. Could it be that simple? Now there is a chance that nothing will come of this chance encounter but there’s the possibility that something might. Either way, all it took to reach someone outside of my regular circle was to talk to a friendly stranger in a pizza joint.

I was completely over-thinking how I might approach meeting new people.

A lot of times we put so much thought into what must be done. We take notes, we mull it over with friends, we sketch out grandiose plans. But oftentimes the simplest step is the best next step.

Over-thinking puts you deep in your head. You miss out on what’s going on around you and may miss the very opportunity you’ve been pondering over. Don’t go through life with your head down. Put down the smartphone and talk to a stranger on the bus. Ask questions and get to know people, no strings attached. You never know what type of impact a simple conversation will have on someone else’s life – or your own.

What simple step can you take to broaden your horizon today?

************************

Pssst…are you on my mailing list? Now would be a good time to jump on if you aren’t. I have some exclusive, time-sensitive coaching offers going out this morning that you won’t want to miss: http://eepurl.com/fOIbf

A Steadfast Belief in Myself

Nailah — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 17:03:15 +0000

I woke up this morning feeling afraid. I was anxious and nervous. I felt fearful of it all: that I had made some bad decisions, that I would never recover if things went south, that I had played too big (<–is that ever really possible). I woke up with all this on my mind and I was terrified. And paralyzed. I made a promise to myself at the end of last year to never again allow fear to keep me stuck. I never again wanted to allow my fear to make way for inaction. Fear is good; it means I’m doing something important enough that I care tremendously about it. Fear means I’m moving forward. But it’s important to keep moving in the face of fear – to not let it paralyze me.

With all of this on my mind I checked Facebook and was met with this from Kylie Springman:

YES! That was exactly what I needed. A steadfast belief in myself. I jumped out of bed and wrote this:

I am invoking steadfast belief in MYSELF. If there is anyone who can do this shit it is ME. Everything I have done, everything I have struggled against, everything I have triumphed over, everything I believe in has led me to this moment. I am uniquely and perfectly prepared to carry out this mission. And I will do it flawlessly. The easiest way to diminish someone’s power is to make them believe that they have none. I have power. I am profoundly powerful. I am Fucking brave. And courageous. And charismatic. And smart as the dickens. I will hustle and connect and work until what needs to get done is done. I will do things I’ve never done before in order to have things I’ve never had before. I will think bigger and play much bigger. I am unstoppable.

What are you invoking today? Have you ever woke up already feeling in a funk? What do you do to defeat it?

**********************

I’ve recently started a board on Pinterest dedicated to Fear. Check it out if you need some inspiration to fight that fear.

Early Bird Registration is still open for the Fierce Leadership Summit. It’s guaranteed to be a day full of fear-busting ass-kickery.

Inspiration.

Nailah — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 14:43:54 +0000

I’ve been using this final week of December to wrap up my annual planning process and reflect back on the great year that 2011 has been. A large part of what made my year incredible is due to my amazing clients. I’m constantly in awe and completely inspired by the women with whom I work. They inspire me to continue dreaming and playing bigger and I hope they do the same for you. Here’s a round-up of what some of my clients are most proud of from the past year.

image credit: bayasaa

Layla is a successful life coach who set out to further empower the women of Qatar through her new business Women, Inc.:

“I have a LOT of things to be proud of this year. I launched my 2nd business which has been a dream for years – a coaching and training business dedicated t helping women create their own success, happiness and balance. I started training as a Holistic Health Coach. I lost over 20kg to reach a healthy and happy size 8 uk/size 2 US. I went on my very first trip to a detox retreat in Thailand where I did a week long juice fast. I took up running and yoga. I made lots of fabulous new friends and contacts. I feel more on purpose than ever!”

Louise started a new blog to help her continue to discover (and re-discover) the things that make her heart sing:

“I am proud of the fact that I started a blog last year and am regularly posting to it. I am also proud that I’ve made dance a regular part of my life this past year. I am also proud of the fact that I’m taking intentional strides in discovering my passions, gifts and my inner voice. It’s just the beginning of a journey that I’m very excited about!”

Debs wanted a more balanced lifestyle for herself that would allow her to pursue her many passions – like making sock monkeys! She was tired of the stress her career was creating and wanted a change for the better:

“The biggest change I’ve made is I changed jobs! I was headhunted while I was still at the magazine and now I am the producer for the breakfast show at the new Capital FM – Malaysia’s first women-centric radio station. It’s a completely new realm for me since I don’t have a shred of experience in radio but thankfully the skills I got from writing feature stories has given me the tools I need to search out content for the show. This job has allowed me to explore my other loves, such as sock monkey making! I’m feeling a lot more alive and my quarter life crisis seems like a lifetime ago – all thanks to the skills you taught me!”

Sabina is actively taking the steps to embrace her passion of travel, food and Japanese culture and planning a long-term trip to Japan:

“What I’m most proud of, over the past year, is that I stopped letting fear control me and finally started doing things I’ve dreamed of. With Nailah’s help and constant support, I’m slowly making my dream of living abroad in Japan come true!”

Takeia realized the lifestyle of a traditional lawyer was not for her and dug deep to discover how she truly wanted to combine her strengths and talents into a career she loved:

“This year, I resigned my position as an attorney at a large law firm in Indianapolis, moved back home to Chicago, and began working as judicial law clerk in state court. Two weeks after starting that position, I accepted an offer to clerk for a federal judge in the Northern District of Illinois (a huge accomplishment for me). Most importantly, I began working towards a career in academia, and I truly believe that this entire year was preparation for that revelation. 2011 has been a whirlwind year for me, but I anticipate 2012 being even bigger and better. Thanks for your support throughout this process! There’s more to come ”

Janah fought to break through the expectations she originally thought she had to live up to and create the life that she craves:

“This year I’m proud of accepting my imperfections and willingness to push past the image I thought I had to create for myself. I’ve asked myself difficult questions and dared to give myself audacious-big-dream type of answers regarding what I want for my life. Thank you Nailah for helping me get to that point!”

Tameka accomplished many things this year – quitting her day job, going back to school, becoming a part of her family’s business and making plans to expand her own business:

“I quit my job!!! I felt so relieved once I did. I was really becoming something I didn’t want to be and kind of felt like I was wasting a lot of time that could have been devoted towards my own entrepreneurial goals. Since I made the change I have been so much happier – it was like a liberation. I’ve also taken on the role of helping my father revitalize his plumbing business, which has always been a part of me but I think I was running from it. During the period you and I worked together, I was in the process of finding myself and establishing goals to match. 2011 has been an amazingly motivating and arousing year for me and honestly, I have you to thank for much of that. You gave me clarity and helped me to realize my worth and my purpose in this marvelous world we live in. My confidence has never been better and I’m in such a great space personally!”

Timeisha began thinking more seriously about how she can grow her business by getting over some of the fears that were holding her back:

“The thing I’m most proud of from 2011 is that I have I have taken baby steps to get over my fears. I have done quite a few things this year that I would have been to0 scared to do a year ago. Something seemingly as small as attending more networking events and conferences by myself because in the past I would have been too shy. I have definitely been willing to speak up more in public which is a must for my business!”

I know without a doubt that these ladies will continue to rock it in 2012. What inspires me most about them is that they were willing to not only uncover their passions but they are fully committed to living a life that is aligned with their core values.

What are you most proud of from 2011?

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Want to completely own 2012 and see your name up in lights here on the blog next year? Join us for the first round of Polka Dot Groups or sign up for a free consultation call to get started!

Put Down Your Pacifier!

Nailah — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 14:26:22 +0000

Happy Friday Loves!

Sesame Street recently launched a campaign to get tykes to put down their pacifiers. The campaign consists of posters reminiscent of old WWI propaganda posters as well as a video campaign featuring tips from Elmo on how to successfully become pacifier free. I wondered out loud on Facebook how the campaign was doing and lamented the fact that I didn’t have some tiny, pacifier-sucking person to share it with. My friend Erika Hines pointed out the correlation between a child’s pacifier and other “security blankets” that we all hold close.

She’s absolutely right. We all have our own pacifiers. The ones that I encounter regularly through clients – and in my own head – are those limiting beliefs and fears that keep us playing way small in our comfort zones. Elmo and the gang have the right idea – going through the process of putting our own pacifiers down is an important step in personal growth. The pacifier I’ve been struggling with lately is the belief that I don’t have anything profound to say and therefore should not do speaking engagements. If I hang on to this pacifier, it will keep me safe and comfortable off of the stage but I would be throwing away valuable opportunities to grow as a person and a coach.

By ditching your pacifiers – that fear that holds you back from taking a step in the direction of your dreams, your belief that you could never succeed as a full-time creative, those thoughts around you not being enough to pull off your big idea - you’re allowing yourself to grow fully into the vibrant, awesome being you are meant to be. Retiring your pacifier is scary. After all you have that fear or belief in place for a reason. It is soothing and comforting to you. But in order to do truly epic shit you must be willing to step outside of your comfort zone.

You must be willing to tuck that little pacifier away.

What “pacifier” – limiting belief or fear – will you put down in order to step outside of your comfort zone today?