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The Courage To Be Who You Are

By Nailah on March 14, 2012

Today’s post comes from Sara Sharnoff, a Dating & Relationship Consultant who focuses on helping people finding authentic and fulfilling relationships. She tells the story of how she found the courage to follow her passion and start her Dating Consulting business last year.

Every week I have the same reoccurring nightmare. I have forgotten to go to my eleventh grade calculus class and now I’ve failed the entire course. I’m panicked and completely unable to understand why I was so careless and irresponsible. Needless to say, I did not grow up to become a mathematician.

My story of finding my dream job begins with my childhood bedtime ritual. Every night my mother, a counseling social worker, would talk with me about her day and how she helped people in our community. I loved how she cared for others and inspired people to live fulfilling lives, and I wanted to follow in her footsteps. I attended college at Indiana University and I studied psychology and gender studies, but it wasn’t until I studied abroad in Dublin during my junior year that I truly desired a creative, nontraditional career. I loved my independent lifestyle abroad in Europe, and I wanted to pursue a similar path back home. I realized that I wanted to write, blog, and help people find meaningful relationships; I just didn’t have a clue about how to make it happen.

As college graduation approached, I had the cliche “What am I doing with my life?” crisis.  I always anticipated continuing my education and attending graduate school, but I was not sure if the timing was right.  It was important to my parents that I receive a graduate degree to better my chances for occupational security.  I graduated in 2008 during the start of the economic recession, and I was afraid to take a chance on my dream. I was encouraged to be practical and find a dependable profession. I decided that if I was going to attend graduate school and delay my true passion, I wanted to live in my dream city- Boston. I moved right after college graduation and started my masters program in family therapy that fall.  Although I loved the people in my program and formed long lasting friendships, I was still unsure if I really belonged to the group- I felt like an impostor; a creative spirit trapped in a formal, traditional occupation. I would frequently daydream about ditching my studies and starting my dating consulting business.  During my first year of graduate school, my anxiety began to reach an all time high. I suffered from numerous panic attacks and could not shake the feeling in my gut that I was not fulfilling my life’s passion.

With the support of my family and friends, I continued with my program and graduated in the spring of 2011.  With the blessing of my family, I decided that it was time to stop living for the approval of others and to stop making excuses for why I could not start my own business.  I gave myself a crash course in marketing, branding, and business strategy by spending every afternoon in the Cambridge Public Library. When I had questions, I reached out to other local entrepreneurs for help and was received with open arms. I launched SaraSharnoff.com right after graduation, and my life has never been the same.

I certainly do not regret any of the professional or academic decisions that I’ve made over the years; I use the skills that I have acquired along the way to enhance my current business.  The most important lesson that I took away from my journey is that fear cannot be the deciding factor for pursuing your passion. Today I get to write, blog, create, consult, and be inspired by clients around the country. I honestly can’t wait for the rest of my life to begin.

Maybe I’ll consider a tradition career later in life, but for now, I know that I am exactly where I want to be. Now if I could only do something about those math nightmares…

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Sara Sharnoff graduated with a BA in Psychology and a minor in Gender Studies from Indiana University and a MS in Family Therapy from the University of Massachusetts Boston. Sara enjoys working with individuals and couples of all ages, races, genders, and cultures. After gaining professional matchmaking experience, she followed her passion for dating coaching and consulting to help others unlock their authentic selves and find fulfilling relationships. You can find Sara online at SaraSharnoff.com or on twitter at @SaraBethLoves

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Fast Track Freelancing

By Nailah on March 12, 2012

After graduating from college and realizing the career path I had fallen into just wasn’t for me, I remember struggling to figure out how to create a career path that was focused on my unique strengths. I knew that the talents I brought to the world were important but I wasn’t sure how to use them to create my own business just yet.

Danielle Leslie is out to change that. She believes that we all have unique strengths that we can transform into profitable businesses. I took some time to interview Danielle and learn more about how she helps people get on the fast-track to freelancing. She shares her expertise in the video below and she’ll be sharing even more at the Fierce Leadership Summit in two weeks.

There are only two weeks left to purchase your tickets to the Fierce Leadership Summit! Make sure to head on over and save your seat today.

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Quick Reminder.

By Nailah on March 8, 2012

Danielle Leslie of We Are Big Fish has a quick message for you….

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Celebrate Your Power

By Nailah on March 8, 2012

“The best judge of whether or not a country is going to develop is how it treats its women. If it’s educating its girls, if women have equal rights, that country is going to move forward. But if women are oppressed and abused and illiterate, then they’re going to fall behind.” -President Barack Obama, Ladies’ Home Journal, Sept. 2008

I received a tweet yesterday asking what I was going to write about on International Women’s Day to empower women. I actually didn’t have anything planned and so this question sent my brain whirling. What profound thing can I tell my mostly female readers to help empower them on this day? I carried the question with me as I went to a Girls in Tech event. Talking to the women at the event left me feeling warm and glowy and filled with possibility about the world because these awesome women were out there. And they represented only a small portion of the women of the world.

That’s when it hit me.

Women do not need empowerment. We are already empowered. To say that I or anyone else will empower us implies that we are lacking power in some way, shape or form. Your power is there, deep within you. It is layered within each feminine mound of your body. And centered within your womanly spirit.

What we do need is that spark to ignite our power. And the resources to harness our power. And the clarity to share our power. And the confidence to honor that power. We’ve got power in spades. We must simply recognize it and unleash it.

On this International Women’s Day, take the time to realize your own innate power. How can you further unleash it onto the world? And then, because we are not in this world alone, think of what you can do to help the women around you to recognize their own innate power. Women are connectors. We weave strong networks and communities. By taking the time to inspire someone else to recognize her power you will start a chain reaction that is unstoppable.

Today – and every day – celebrate your power. Celebrate women.

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Making Wellness a Priority

By Nailah on March 7, 2012

When you’re juggling your life, your work, your relationships and everything that falls in between, making time for health and wellness can be daunting. Oftentimes, your healthy habits are the first thing to fall to the wayside when things get hectic. At least that’s how it is for me!

Erin Haslag of Well in LA doesn’t think it has to be that way. She is in the business of helping busy women make their wellness a priority. In the interview below, Erin talks about her passion for wellness, her tips on squeezing wellness into your schedule, and how making time for wellness makes you absolutely Fierce.

What is your #1 healthy tip for incorporating wellness into your busy schedule? Let us know in the comments below.

You can get more Erin and much, much more at our live event: the Fierce Leadership Summit.

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Finding My True Passion: From Pain to Triumph

By Nailah on March 6, 2012

Today’s post comes from Amber Hewitt, a PhD candidate living in Chicago. Amber shares her journey to finding and following her passion instead of doing what her family thought was best.

“She’s small but feisty,” said the neonatologist to my parents as they processed my birth weight of only 2 lbs, 1 oz. I was born more than two months premature and even then, possessed the same tenacity and zeal for life that I possess today. Family and friends would describe me as strong, passionate, and resilient, yet, sensitive, calm, and vulnerable. In order to share who I am, I must first put myself within the appropriate context. I am an African American woman. I am the daughter of parents who came of age during the Civil Rights movement. I am a daughter of the Deep South who was socialized in a geographical area where visible signs of oppression still linger. My upbringing by socially conscious parents helped to shape a keen perspective of my environment. I share this part of my story, because it sheds light on both the pain and triumph in my journey to finding my true passion.

Growing up, I had my heart set on becoming a physician. I mean, why wouldn’t I want to be a doctor? I grew up as the “star student” and “model daughter.” It seemed like everyone wanted me to become a doctor and those same people seemed to have my best interest in mind. It was not until I began to truly understand and listen to myself that I realized that I was pursuing the passion of others. Although my undergraduate studies in biological sciences fulfilled my need to question, create, and discover, it did not fulfill my desire to better understand human behavior, connect with others, and serve humanity. My graduate training in psychology has provided the best medium to pursue my true passions and utilize my personal gifts. My ability to engage and connect with others, both personally and professional, is one of my unique gifts. This level of consciousness was not gained with ease.

I am a believer that as human beings we never fully arrive at our most optimal selves, yet we are always striving to better understand our world and ourselves. My journey to finding my true passion was one of personal pain and growth. Pain is an emotion that some of us may try to avoid or suppress. However, I found it important in my journey to connect with my pain and fully experience those feelings. In other words, it was painful for me to think about disappointing loved ones or close friends who thought they had my best interest in mind. It was painful for me to admit to myself that I had embarked on a course that really wasn’t for me. I also felt some discomfort and unease when I started s completely new journey in psychology. From these experiences of pain I not only learned more about myself and my unique gifts but I also grew as a human being. I continue to discover on my journey that I am indeed human. As human beings we must fully accept our humanity – our struggles, pitfalls, and personal defeats. Once we recognize the beauty in this paradox, we can then reach further enlightenment. Ultimately, I had to release my own fears and step out bravely in a new direction.  As a result of courage and self-determination, I am now experiencing supreme joy and fulfillment.

Amber Hewitt grew up in Shreveport, Louisiana. She is the daughter of Henry Hewitt, Jr. and the late Beverly Hewitt. She is currently a Ph.D. candidate in Counseling Psychology at Loyola University Chicago. Her interests are working with urban youth and families. She desires to teach and conduct research at the university level in addition to utilizing her clinical skills in the private sector. Amber’s passions are service, leadership, and advocacy. Her hobbies include patronizing the arts, trying out new cuisines, and enjoying nature.

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Are you an amazing 20- or 30-something with a story to tell? Of course you are! We want to hear it. Contact me to be featured here on the blog.

We’re building a community of vibrant Fierce Leaders and we want you to be a part of it. Head to the Fierce Leadership Summit website to learn how to get involved.

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Get It Done!

By Nailah on March 5, 2012

One of the hardest things about making your dreams a reality is the sheer amount of tasks that come along with it. You probably have 16 different ideas that you’d love to execute and that’s on top of everything else you have going on. All of that can leave you feeling seriously overwhelmed and just plain stuck. That’s where Creativity & Productivity Specialist, Samantha Bennett, comes in. Sam works with creatives to decide which project needs attention right now and provides easy-to-execute strategies to garner you astonishing progress on your goal. Thankfully Sam will be one of the 9 incredible speakers at the Fierce Leadership Summit.

I had the opportunity to interview Sam and we talked about creative tension, getting it all done and of course, what it means to be a Fierce Leader.

So now I’m turning it over to you. How do you give yourself a jump start when you’re feeling stuck?

And once you’re done with that, be sure to head over to the Fierce Leadership Registration page and buy your ticket!

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It’s March 3rd….

By Nailah on March 3, 2012

….Have you bought your Fierce Leadership Summit ticket yet?

Don’t miss out! Head to the official site to learn more about the Fierce Leadership Summit and buy your tickets.

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Lesson from college: Letting Go of the Goals

By Nailah on March 1, 2012

Today’s post is brought to you by Lilou, a visual artist and fellow blogger who really understands the benefits and struggles of working outside of a traditional 9-5 job. She created her blog, Push and Soar, as a way to let others know that they are not alone on this journey to live their passion.

It was senior year of college and I already had the all the research for my thesis done the previous year. Now it was time to really put in the work. Thesis is of course a very important project because that’s what will determine whether or not you get to graduate and get that diploma you’ve spent four years working for.

After years of an average of 21 hours of sleep a week, I most definitely wanted to graduate and leave that place. But that wasn’t my focus. My focus was on doing the very best job I could for my thesis. So I put in a lot of hard work every single day for months until that project was complete. I was tired and at times frustrated but I had to see this through. Some people ridiculed the subject matter of my project while others implied or flat out said that I wasn’t good enough to successfully complete my thesis. Yes, it hurt to hear those remarks but I couldn’t dwell on them because I had to make sure that every part of my thesis came out beautifully.

After months working on it, after all the tears and frustration and negative comments directed at me and my project, not only did I successfully complete my thesis and graduated but I received an “Outstanding Achievement” award for it.

I knew that a group of students were given awards for their thesis each year but that wasn’t my goal. My goal was to graduate and my focus was on doing the absolute best job I could on this project. I set my intention but instead of focusing so much on graduating and wanting nothing but that, I let go of my goal and started to focus instead on what I knew would get me there, working hard and doing my best.

What I learned is that sometimes the goals we set for ourselves are not even scratching the surface of what we can really accomplish.

But when we hold on to these goals too tightly, when we’re so rigid about what we want the future outcome to be we are not allowing ourselves to be in a place to receive anymore than what we asked for and we end up missing out on receiving something bigger than what we wanted. So although you might have a particular goal in mind, remain open to other opportunities because you never know where and how far they can take you.

Throughout the years since I left college, I’ve come to really realize and experience all the unpredictability of life. And if you’re like me, you’ve set goals and made lists, which I personally think is good because it gives us direction. But we have to also learn to accept the fact that life doesn’t always go as planned. We have to learn to stop focusing so much on the goals, the lists and the timelines. Always believe that your goals are possible even when you are frustrated, tired and ridiculed. Consistently take all the steps you deem necessary for them to come to fruition and put your best foot forward every time. Be open to other possibilities while remaining focused on consistently taking steps towards achieving your goals, on doing the absolute best job you can on the task at hand, instead of focusing on a desired or feared outcome. Just let go and have faith that everything will work out for the very best at the right time and work hard.

And as you do so, you will find that great opportunities will come knocking at your door, life may start to feel less stressful; you will find that when you loosen up your grip, when you let go of your goal is when you’ll find yourself achieving them and even opening up doors to much more than you could ever imagine.

Lilou is the creator and writer of “Push and Soar.” A blog dedicated to inspiring, motivating and encouraging people who are on a journey of following their passion and living their dream through sharing. You can find more Lilou at Push and Soar.

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Join me at the Young Female Entrepreneurs live chat tonight at 6pm PST. We’ll be talking finding your passions, recovering from failure and much, much more! Head here for the details.

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Becoming A Financially Wise Woman

By Nailah on February 28, 2012

Finances play a huge part in our everyday life. It’s impossible to live the remarkable life you dream of if your money situation is less than ideal. Certified Financial Planner, Brittney Castro is on a mission to help women become Financially Wise and find freedom through their finances. I believe strongly in women becoming financially free and was excited to interview Brittney. I’m also beyond thrilled that Brittney will be one of the 9 incredible speakers at the Fierce Leadership Summit.

In the interview below we chat about what it means to be a Financially Wise Woman, the small steps you can take to get on your way and how your finances are connected to being a Fierce Leader.

So now I’m turning it over to you. Hop on down in the comments below and let us know the one financial tool you could not live without.

And once you’re done with that, be sure to head over to the Fierce Leadership Registration page and buy your ticket!

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