I am not good at showing my vulnerable side. I’m great at showcasing my strong side, I’m excellent at putting a positive spin on things, I’m even fantastic at helping other be vulnerable – creating a space where they feel comfortable to let their guard down. But I am terrible at doing it myself.
I don’t cry in front of others, I push through pain. I’m a bit of a tough cookie. And I like being seen that way. I admire strong, courageous women. I strive to be a strong, courageous woman. However, I know logically that courage is not just about bravery or strength. Vulnerability takes a tremendous amount of courage. It takes courage to allow people to see you – all of you.
In Brené Brown’s TedTalk on Vulnerability she explains that the word courage is derived from Latin and originally meant ‘to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.‘
It takes courage to share all of yourself. It takes courage to be imperfect.
Vulnerability is necessary to connect with others on a deeper level.
I read this recently on Pam Slim’s blog. She was talking about the trap that many business owners fall into by believing that their market is over-saturated. There are no opportunities because everybody is a life coach. Or doing tele-seminars is done to death. But the reality is that the people we interact with most on twitter and facebook are people like us. They’re in our world. They get the things that we get. That doesn’t mean that everybody does. Pam’s advice was to get outside of your regular zone and network with the people around you. Are there people out there who need you but have no idea that you exist? This simple but profound advice really stuck with me and I began thinking of all of the ways I can connect with other people outside of my regular circle.
I was deep in thought, mid-way through eating a slice of pizza at a crowded pizzeria when all of a sudden a lady asked if she could sit next to me on my table. I smiled and said no problem and went back to thinking through my current dilemma. The lady broke into my thoughts once more to ask about my wedding ring. It turns out both of our rings were very similar. This turned into a 30-minute conversation about our weddings, our husbands and eventually our careers. I was intrigued by her career as a producer at Univision and she was equally intrigued about my career as a coach. We exchanged cards and both went our separate ways. Could it be that simple? Now there is a chance that nothing will come of this chance encounter but there’s the possibility that something might. Either way, all it took to reach someone outside of my regular circle was to talk to a friendly stranger in a pizza joint.
I was completely over-thinking how I might approach meeting new people.
A lot of times we put so much thought into what must be done. We take notes, we mull it over with friends, we sketch out grandiose plans. But oftentimes the simplest step is the best next step.
Over-thinking puts you deep in your head. You miss out on what’s going on around you and may miss the very opportunity you’ve been pondering over. Don’t go through life with your head down. Put down the smartphone and talk to a stranger on the bus. Ask questions and get to know people, no strings attached. You never know what type of impact a simple conversation will have on someone else’s life – or your own.
What simple step can you take to broaden your horizon today?
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Little known fact: I’m a big comic book fan. Growing up with a teenage brother and a slew of all-male cousins will do that to you. In particular, I love the X-Men. Storm, Beast, Wolverine, Rogue (oh, especially Rogue) – I was a big fan of all of them and their high flying adventures. But the one X-Men who consistently got on my nerves? Jean Grey. Here’s a little background for those of you not familiar with what I’m talking about. Jean Grey’s mutant power was telepathy & telekinesis and similar to Professor X, she was able to exhibit powerful mind control. But all too often Jean would fail because she didn’t know her own strength. It would go a little something like this: The X-Men would be fighting against some foe. Let’s say Magneato. He would do something to disable their jet, leaving them plummeting from the air in a free fall. Jean Grey would step in to hold up the aircraft with her mind. But then, without fail, she would start feeling herself getting weaker and would lose the ability to hold her team up from falling to their demise. This happened all. the. time. The only time Jean was able to really showcase her power is when she turned into the Phoenix and even then she wasn’t able to control it. It was a classic example of not knowing your own strength. Jean Grey didn’t understand her power and thus was never able to grab hold of it and wield it.
I am just as annoyed to this day when I see people out there who are not fully embracing their superpowers. Seriously, how many people are you disappointing because you’re not fully stepping up to the plate with what you can do. The world needs you and your unique gifts. And I for one am sick of people who are robbing their world of their voice. So let’s put a stop to this.
First things first, how to tap into your superpower:
Ask yourself what you are ah-mazing at? What do you do better than most other people?
If that is too difficult, think about what other people come to you for? What do they thank you for?
Identify your power zone. When do you feel unstoppable & most like yourself? What are you doing during these times?
What are you insanely passionate about? What problem are you here to solve? What gifts are you here to give?
Now here’s how can you start stepping into your power fully:
Embrace it. Stop shirking away from it.
Share it. Let us know what it is that you do. Brag a bit. Help solve our problems with your brilliant gift
Never doubt it.
That’s it. It’s pretty simple really. Now get out there and razzle dazzle us.
What are your superpowers? And just for fun if you could have a mutant superpower, what would it be?
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Hey LA Business Owner! I’ve teamed up with Donna Queza of Marketing-Optimist.com to bring you The Launch Sequence - a powerful 4-week, in-person small business bootcamp. We’re combining my business building and coaching skills with Donna’s remarkable marketing know-how to help creative entrepreneurs and solopreneurs take their business to new heights. Head to The Launch Sequence website for more information on how to sign up.
Today’s post comes from Tiffany Clarke Harrison an amazing copy editor and the owner of blah cubed. I first met Tiffany on twitter (of course!) and was drawn to her fun, energetic style. Tiffany shares her journey to discovering her true passion in the post below
I wrote my first novel in the 7th grade.
I wrote it in overly girly, bubbly letters that reeked of pubescent angst and the 10 minutes of Beverly Hills 90210 I was allowed to watch before my parents disapproved and changed the channel to your regularly scheduled wholesome programming.
I think I was the popular girl in my novel-those girls we long to be until we grow to realize popularity is the converse of ingenuity, and uniqueness is the essence of your beautiful and wonderful self.
And though, in my senior year of college, my creative writing professor singled me out in a class full of hopeful talents and said ‘You will have a book out one day’, I ventured into the corporate world instead. A world of (my own) false-enthusiasm, due-paying, and ladder-climbing-of constant waiting for one’s permission to be my most awesome self.
At 24, I felt undervalued, unfulfilled, and exhausted.
At 24, I wanted to be unpopular-to leap into ‘self’ mode and make a life complete with creative hours instead of dragging through the expected 9 to 5. I wanted to write. I wanted a business of my own.
But ‘wanting’ and ‘willing’ are two entirely different creatures, and life got in the way: my husband and I relocated, started having children, and I stopped working altogether in order to be with my children and obtain my MBA.
After graduating in December 2010, I knew it was the chance I needed, and ‘I want’ turned into ‘I will.’ I started decorating cakes, refurbishing furniture-anything where I could be creative, learn, and build a business.
And while I’m a great cake decorator, and restored dilapidated furniture into gorgeous pieces, writing was the missing piece. It always comes back to writing.
In February of 2012 I launched blah3, a copywriting business for creative women entrepreneurs. So often women push their talents to the side; ignore their creativity and pursue more traditional means of employment. Clarity and creativity is golden-be clear about who you are and what you want, and use your creativity to make a life that gets your heart all a-flutter. I write to help these women present their gifts in the most effective way that makes them totally irresistible online.
I write because I believe in women and their talents-and those overly girly and bubbly letters that started it all.
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Tiffany Clarke Harrison is a purveyor of prose and web copy rocker. She believes that ladies rock this world with soul-shifting vision and delicious talents that seduce your face off, and writes to help aspiring women entrepreneurs turn creative hobbies into creative businesses with fun and engaging web content. You can find her at blahcubed.org or on Twitter @blah_cubed.
I’m over at The Launch Sequence blog today writing about creating a powerful brand. Below is a quick snippet or you can jump on over to read the whole post.
You have a brilliant idea. And you’re ready to unleash it on to the world. But in order to touch the people you want to touch and create the community you want to create, you will have to do much more than simply hang up your shingle. You have to build more than just a business; you need to build a brand. More than that, you will need to build something that people have a strong emotional reaction to.
It’s April, y’all! And if you’ve been following along with the blog for a while, you know that I love doing Annual & Quarterly Reviews (yes, I’m a nerd!) In the 6-minute video below I’ve outlined a quick process to
1) reflect on the last three months of your life and/or business and
2) chart out your plans for the upcoming quarter.
Let’s get to it!
Let’s turn it over to you: What are you most proud of from Q1? And what do you have planned for the upcoming quarter? Looking forward to hear what you’re up to!
We spend a lot of time asking the opinions of others when most of the time the answers are within us. In our bones. In our hearts. In our guts.
I’ve just come off a 3-month period of hard work. I’ve been working non-stop since January to put together FLS2012 (which was marvelous by the way!) Each day was devoted to some detail about the Summit – from the teeny tiny to the oh-so-big. Apart from clients, it was the one thing I focused on. Needless to say, I was tired coming out on the other side of it. Tired and satisfied and proud. I decided I would give myself a week off to recover, to get back on my feet. After the week I’d be recharged and ready to dive back into more work. But here I am and the last thing I want to do is work. For the first couple of days it made me nervous – what could this possibly mean? Why wouldn’t I want to jump back into my usual grind? I’m high energy – I like fast paced, right? And I do love fast paced. I talk fast. I think fast. Shopping a mall with me is like entering a speed walking competition.
But for some reason I have the overwhelming urge to go slow.
And so I’m leaning into it. I’m not fighting it at all. I’m doing the things I feel compelled to do instead of the things I think I should be doing. This means reading and writing. Sharing other people’s work. Going out for coffee with interesting people. Taking walks. Writing Thank You notes.
There will be a time and a place for fast again. But for right now, I need slow. My body needs slow. My heart & soul needs slow. And I intend to listen.
What are you craving right now? Even if it seems counter to what you think you should need, give into it. Lean into it. And let me know how it feels.
Today actually is my birthday so I am starting it off awesomely! I hope you’re doing the same. The days leading up to my birthday have been a whirlwind of amazing. The inaugural Fierce Leadership Summit was a huge success. I spent Sunday surrounded by brilliant, energetic, passionate women. I’m still letting the experience settle in and will be taking this week off (and maybe some of next week) to process everything & have some much needed rest.
I had the pleasure of guest posting over at Michelle Ward’s When I Grow Up Coach today. I wrote about the problem of not feeling Expert Enough. You know that feeling that holds you back from moving forward on your Big Dream. Head on over to read the rest and be sure to leave a comment.
How many times have you hesitated on moving forward on your creative dream because you felt you were not experienced enough? How often have you stopped dead in your tracks because you had convinced yourself you did not have enough skills? In short, how often have you felt like you were not enough to carry out your big, beautiful dream? Countless, I’m willing to bet…..
Six months ago, I walked away from my Corporate gig and became a full-time entrepreneur. The lessons I’ve learned since then have been numerous – build a support system of other solopreneurs, create a schedule so I don’t end up watching Wife Swap all day, stay organized. But the most profound lesson I’ve learned since becoming a full time life coach is to trust myself.
When I look back on the experience of quitting my job, the one thing I would do differently if I had to do it all over again would be to trust myself more. I would trust that the plan I had created was a solid one. I would trust that the clients I was working with would be enough. I would trust that the projects I launched would be successful. I would trust in myself to continue supporting myself well after my savings cushion had run out.
If I’m really honest with myself when I reflect on that time, I can admit that I probably quit my job about 3 months too late. Around June of last year I had reached the milestones I had set for myself in terms of clients and savings I would need before making my leap. But instead of following through with the plan I had set out for myself, I hesitated. I started to doubt the fact that this would work. I began to question the math on my massive spreadsheet. I stopped trusting myself. I was terrified. And that fear caused me to linger and hem & haw for three whole months. Three months doesn’t seem like a long time but it is an eternity when you feel stuck in limbo. I made myself miserable in those extra 3 months and it was completely unnecessary. Thankfully I was able to regain the trust in myself to make my leap.
Trust in myself has been a reoccurring theme in my six months of full-time entrepreneurship. Being an entrepreneur is filled with uncertainty and risk; the faster you are able to come to terms with this fact and learn the best ways to thrive in spite of that uncertainty, the better off you’ll be. Having a complete trust in yourself and your abilities to make things happen is the ultimate antidote to the paralyzing fear that comes from not knowing exactly what’s next.
When in doubt, trust yourself. You always know exactly what to do.
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My fellow coaching buddy, Michelle Ward—The When I Grow Up Coach, is releasingAn Effective Escapetoday. This comprehensive e-book is aimed at helping people break free from their day jobs and create the life and career they crave. I had the pleasure of reviewing a copy of the product and I can assure you that it is chock full of advice, worksheets and frameworks for creating an effective escape plan from your day job. It is THOROUGH and will take all of the guess work out of creating your escape route from your day job.
In honor of Michelle’s 2nd anniversary as an entrepreneur, she is offering a pay-what-you-can-day. So for one day only, March 19th, you can grab this e-book for any amount you can afford to pay.
Head on over and check out An Effective Escape. And wish Michelle a very happy Anniversary!
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