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A Remarkably Beautiful Life

By Nailah on February 1, 2012

Today’s post comes from Margaret Jacobsen, a talented photographer and artist, who will share with us her simple tips on living a remarkably beautiful life.

I am a believer in living. When I say living, I mean loving, being present, practicing gratitude, and pursuing my heart’s desires.  Living in no way means you’re just getting by. I could never live that way. And no one should! This life is beautiful. It’s inspiring and it’s a life you only get to live once. I think about that on a daily basis. I’m only doing this whole journey once, how will I look back on it? Will I wish I had done things differently? Or will I be happy with the choices and paths I chose to walk down? I hope for the latter.

Stay True to Yourself.

You owe it to yourself to live your fullest life. The way you live your life will never be the same way someone else lives her life. Why? Because you are you! You are an individual soul, with your own spirit & heart. You are an individual. There will always be boxes and molds that some people will try to place us into. They’ll attempt to push us down paths that they think are the right paths. But who knows you better than you know yourself? Whenever this happens you have to really step back and listen to yourself. This can be hard as it is normal for us to seek out advice from our peers and to heed what they say. But oftentimes advice given doesn’t line up with our individual needs. It is what “should be done.” When you start listening to yourself, when you start recognizing what rings true to you, you’re able to discern which advice works for you. You learn which advice you should take to heart, and which advice you should take with a grain of salt. You learn that not everyone has your true interests at heart; and that’s okay. You just need to be able to separate that from those who truly do.

Build Your Community.

A large piece of what helps you live a beautiful life is the people you choose to share this life with. Surround yourself with others who live to the beat of their own hearts. It
makes the journey so much more pleasant. Anytime you share the big dreams you have, you’ll be encouraged to make these dreams come true. Friends who are on the same road get it – they know that the only way to live this life is to live it big and bold. Build a community that feeds your desire to live! There will be days & nights when things will just be hard, you’ll be tired, and these are the souls that you can lean on. They’ll be your biggest fans and supporters. They’ll cry with you and laugh with you. You are not alone. Comforting right? And beautiful.

Dream – Big & Bold.

We all have dreams. None are too small or too big. I believe we all have our dreams for a reason. I also believe that dreams can come true, but it is up to us to decide how and when. Make your dreams a reality. Don’t say  ”can’t” or “impossible.” Those words shouldn’t be in your vocabulary. This life that you lead is yours – it is up to you to decide want you want to do with it. Making your dreams a reality will take a lot of work and you will need to step outside of your comfort zone, but it is worth it. I can’t tell you the joy that comes from simply pursuing the dreams that you have. Instead of thinking that your dream is not worth pursuing, stop and ask yourself why not? This is your life – you live it as you please!

Be Present.

I talk, write and think about this often. Being present is so important. Tomorrow will come when it comes. But today – right now – you won’t get back. Make an effort to just stop, breathe and take
in what is around you. Be it bad or good. Take a moment to do it right now. I have to stop myself many times a day when I’m getting ahead of myself, thinking about my list of to-do’s, and remind myself to be present. I’ve had some of the most beautiful moments in the middle of my children having meltdowns or when Photoshop has closed and work I had been working on is lost. Now imagine being present, even when things are not going perfectly. It’s mind-blowing! The practice of being present makes the unplanned & the unknown less scary. In fact it almost excites you because you know the wonders that life holds when you just stop and take your time. So many things that would have normally been overlooked can be discovered because you were in the moment. So again, take a moment and breath. Be present right now. The more you do it, the more it will become a regular life practice.

Are you excited about life yet? I’m SO excited! Life has a lot to offer you, but you have to be willing to accept it. To change your mindset and embrace yourself, embrace your dreams, embrace the journey you’ve been on. Learning to live is something that you have to practice every day, but suddenly everything seems much more possible, much more lovely than before. And I can assure you, you’ll be checking dreams off of your dream list in no time.

*****

Margaret Jacobsen is a Portland based photographer. She lives an inspired & magical life with her husband and two small children. You can find her online at MargaretJacobsen.com or on Twitter.

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Sometimes Parents Just Don’t Understand.

By Nailah on January 30, 2012

What happens when your loved ones just don’t understand your Big Dream? They don’t think you should quit your job, they think it’s a terrible idea to switch careers, and starting a business? Fuggedaboutit! Dealing with unsupportive loved ones can be a tricky situation. In the 5 min video below I’ll give our viewer, Tiffany B., some advice for helping her parents come around to the idea of her taking an around the world trip.

Now it’s your turn! Have you ever dealt with a situation where your loved ones did not fully support your Dream? What did you do? Were you able to come to an understanding? I’d love to hear about it!

One of my goals for this year is to make more videos. I’m committing to making 1 video a week for you guys. If you have a question or topic that you’d like me to address, be sure to send it my way or you can bring it up in the comment section below.

And if you’ve missed my first 5 videos of the year, you can check them out on my YouTube channel.


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Fighting the To-Do List Blues

By Nailah on January 23, 2012

I’m a big list maker. I love that satisfactory feeling of crossing each item off of the list one by one. But sometimes my list-making gets the better of me and I begin focusing on what I haven’t done rather than what I’ve completed. In the quick 3 minute video below, I share my simple tip for recognizing just how much you’ve actually accomplished.

Are you a list-maker? Do you ever get stuck focusing on what’s left on the list rather than on what you’ve crossed off? Aren’t Post-It notes the bestest?

Remember – if you need an accountability buddy, let me know in the comments below and we’ll set something up.



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The Quarter Life Comeback

By Nailah on January 19, 2012

Today’s blog post comes from Janah Valenzuela , a 20-something blogger and self-proclaimed pop culture junkie. She shares the story of how she survived the dreaded Quarter Life Crisis by learning to let go of plans & expectations and make room for lots of acceptance.

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I had no idea how familiar I’d become with the term “Quarter Life Crisis,” or as we Quarter-Lifers affectionately call it, the “QLC.” I’ll be honest with you: for a while I was convinced that I had it together. I had envisioned and worked toward a career in the entertainment PR industry as soon as I was allowed to intern. I graduated from college with a 5-year plan for how I was going to rock it out- at work, in my relationship, everything. And then ironically enough, just about 5 years later…BOOM!

“Hello, Quarter Life Crisis. Nice to meet you, but I’m a little busy. How long exactly will you be staying for?”

The career plans, the long-term relationship moving towards marriage plans, all of it started slowly crumbling to bits. I’m sure if you’re reading this then you have certainly experienced a similar version of this “change of plans.”  And if you’re a little like me, well, we thrive off planning and organization. How else can we make sense of the madness in the world without calendar reminders on our Blackberries?

Well, my lovelies, if you haven’t gotten the kick in the rear yet that the QLC gave me, let it be known and let me make this clear: Things aren’t always going to go as planned. In fact, they will rarely ever go as planned according to your timeline! You can’t always have it your way. And when you’re not getting your way, it’s probably time to step back and evaluate: “What the heck is really happening here?”

The moment I let go and accepted what was staring me right in the face, I moved into a whole other chapter in my life I never would have been able to appreciate.

My step back and acceptance of the QLC involved quitting my Hollywood job, ending my no-longer-going-anywhere-relationship, and traveling for 6 incredible months. It took me months to finally get the guts to do it. I resisted, I denied, I ignored, I pushed back, I did everything I could to pretend that things were still going according to plan and that I was perfectly happy. Guess what? The moment I let go and accepted what was staring me right in the face, I moved into a whole other chapter in my life I never would have been able to appreciate.

I got over the shame and guilt of being a grown ass woman having to move back home. It didn’t hurt that my parents happen to live in Japan- a beautiful country I got to know and love for several months. It’s like Japan knew exactly the Zen and peace I was looking for. It was the perfect place to be as I realigned my soul.

By the time my planned trip from Japan to Australia came, I was recharged and just ready to share this new positive energy I was feeling. I always believe that what you put out is what you get back. And my goodness- Australia gave me nothing but joy, positivity, fun and adventure! I made friends. I went out dancing. I laughed. I dated. I had a drink or three. I relished every moment of joy that came from those months and stored it in a bottle. That bottle of joy still gets me giddy every time.

I learned so much about myself during the height of my QLC. The fact is plans change; it’s inevitable. It’s up to you (and my darling, only you) to decide how you want to roll with the punches. You get to choose: do you want to be a victim or a victor?

When you can stop pretending and start being honest with your life, acceptance will bring you something better than you even imagined.

Here’s another thing: acceptance, it is such a game-changer. When you can stop pretending and start being honest with your life, acceptance will bring you something better than you even imagined. Acceptance is the way to welcoming change with open arms. We tend to steer clear from change when we can help it, but I’ve discovered that without the variety and challenge that change brings, we become stagnant and wonder why we lack inspiration. We need change. So why not become friends with acceptance and let the change bring you the breath of fresh air you’ve been waiting for?

I can openly admit I am not done with this thing we call the QLC. But I have changed so much in the last year that I can’t help but love the term QLC. It no longer means a “Quarter Life Crisis” to me. I have decided to accept the challenges, the changes, the roadblocks, and enjoy the process. This crazy growing process is now what I call a “Quarter Life Comeback” because ultimately, I’m working on a stronger, happier, healthier me that’s never felt better! Don’t worry; we’re not going to be in this QLC forever. You’re only in this space for as long as it takes to learn the lessons reaching out to you. My advice? Choose to be a victor in your life, accept your situation, get the guts to make the changes necessary, and then take note of the incredible moments that are bound to emerge.

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Janah Valenzuela is a 20-something California girl with a love for pop culture. After months of ignoring the urgent calls of the QLC, she finally came to wit’s end and took a much-needed breather from her life by indulging her inner gypsy in Japan and Australia for six months. Now she is living on the East Coast and finding her way back into “the real world.” She shares her journey on her blog where she writes about balancing the need to plan every step versus “going with the flow,” honing in on what makes for a happy career and ultimately trying to turn her “Quarter Life Crisis” into a “Quarter Life Comeback.”

You can find Janah online at Quarter Life Comeback and on twitter.

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We Are The Creative Dedicated Minority.

By Nailah on January 16, 2012

Today we take the time to reflect upon and honor the life & legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I’ve shared one of favorite MLK quotes in the short 2:30 video below.

“Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better.” – MLK


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What I’m Loving Right Now.

By Nailah on January 13, 2012

Happy Friday! I’m wrapping up this week with a few interesting articles I found around the inter-webs.


Millennial Women Are Burning Out At Work By 30… And It’s Great For Business. Did burnout contribute to your entrepreneurial dreams?

“Fifty-four percent of the nation’s Millennials either want to start a business or already have started one,” says Carl Schramm, president and CEO of the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation. Paired with data on the rise of female entrepreneurs, the outlook for young women is promising.

PLUS Model Magazine is a new magazine dedicated to the plus-sized modeling industry but they’re already making some waves with a controversial photo spread comparing standard models to the average woman.

“Twenty years ago the average fashion model weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today, she weighs 23% less.”

Have you ever found yourself believing that your dream is impossible for you to attain? Alexandra Franzen has something to say about that in her article, THIS is what’s possible.

“Possible for her. For him. For them. For the special, the privileged, the early-adapters, the “lucky.”
Not for you.

AS fucking IF.

Every single day, my clients + comrades show me what’s POSSIBLE. And it pickles my brain, and zaps open my eyes. Lemon-pucker-WHOA!”

This video is great! I love the description: “This commercial isn’t real, neither are society’s standards of beauty.”

What do you think? Did corporate burnout contribute to your entrepreneurial dreams? Does a plus-size magazine help even the scale of the impossible beauty standards thrust upon women? Have you ever found yourself thinking it wasn’t possible for you?

I’d love to hear your thoughts down below in the comments section. Have a beautiful weekend!



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Eat, Pray, Write.

By Nailah on January 11, 2012

Today’s post comes from Deepthi Cauligi a 20-something in Los Angeles who is exploring her passion for writing. Deepthi shares some of the lessons she learned from leaving her home country of India and moving to California when she was 18.

Elizabeth Gilbert may have traveled all around the world just to learn how to eat, pray and love. However, I managed to learn how to eat, pray, love, read and write just by leaving my home country of India. I entered Los Angeles with expectations, dreams and desires. Along with learning how to battle my problems, I also learned how to really live my life.

One of the things I learned in leaving my home country was learning to let go of guilt and give in to your cravings once in a while.  Stopping yourself from doing something you love will end in regret, always. I found that this advice extends beyond salty snacks and sugary treats; it also greatly applies to life in general. Initially, I stopped myself from acting on my “cravings” but this would often lead to regret at an opportunity lost. I soon learned it was best to live for myself and live happily.

I also learned to value the things I’d taken for granted. Coming from a religious family, praying was habitual and a part of life. I did not question why we needed to pray or why we needed to be spiritual. I went with the flow. When I was in India, I was showered with so much love from friends, family, neighbors, animals and acquaintances that I did not value it. After living in the United States I realized how important it is to pray and love. I observed that many people had no time to pray. Busy with work and making money, they were so consumed with themselves that they were left with no time to pray or reflect. I immediately understood why it is so important to take time out to pray. Praying helps us to be calm, peaceful and relaxed, especially in this busy life of ours. Just like praying, loving also gives satisfaction and makes us happy. You don’t have to take time out just to love someone. Just calling someone you care about, petting a dog or even greeting your neighbor will make you feel good. I learned to appreciate the importance of praying and loving.

These lessons helped me understand the value of following my passion. I’ve always had a passion for reading and writing. The books I read helped me gain knowledge and opened my eyes to learn more about life. I have been writing since I was 8, but my new-found appreciation of life made me want to share my passion with others.

I’ve come to understand the value of following one’s passion. Everyone has dreams. I’m working hard to make my dreams come true. Dreams are like wings, once you have a dream you have the power to fly – fly until you reach your destination. Each day I wake up eager to fulfill my dreams. I dream and I write – these are my two passions. Anybody can dream, but only the brave have the ability to make their dreams come true. I am one of them.

Deepthi Cauligi is a PR Executive in Los Angeles. You can read learn more about her and follow her journey over at her blog.


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5 Big Questions for Uncovering Your Passion

By Nailah on January 9, 2012

I’m a firm believer that we all have unique talents and strengths to bring to the world. We have specific passions that totally light up our worlds. But all too often we shove those passions deep down inside and venture out on careers and lives that are less than fulfilling. In the 9-minute video below, I reveal my 5 Big Questions for Uncovering Your Passion. These questions will get you well on your way to creating a more fulfilling, passion-filled life.

Don’t forget to share your passion in the comment section below. Annnnd if this video was helpful, feel free to share it with your friends.


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Kindness+Flow

By Nailah on January 4, 2012

I’m not a huge fan of New Year’s Resolutions. Mainly because of the pressure they put on people. I don’t like entering into the New Year already feeling behind. With resolutions it sometimes feels like you’ve lost before you’ve even started. What I prefer to do is think about a theme for the new year and then build my actions around that theme. And because I like to keep this process as simple as possible, I usually reduce the theme down to one word. My one word theme for 2011 started out as Explosive – I wanted to experience Explosive growth. Upon reflecting on 2011 I decided that a more appropriate word was Awakening. It took me a bit of time to settle on a theme for 2012 but I’ve decided on Kindness & Flow.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bestrated1/371032725/

Kindness

I want to be more kind to myself. I want to honor my ideas instead of bashing them. I want to cut out the negative self-talk and self-deprecating behavior. I want to believe in myself and all of the amazing things I can do. I want to fill my body with whole, natural foods. I want to run and stretch and laugh and cartwheel. I want to smile lovingly at myself in my mirror. I want to stop mulling over things in my head and instead take action when I feel anxiety creeping me. I want to be kind to my mind, kind to my spirit, kind to my body, kind to my soul.

Flow

One of my big awakenings from 2011 was how good it felt to just show up as myself. It felt good not to tuck parts of myself away or apologize for certain parts but to just be me fully. I realized how much easier life goes when you just have faith and let things flow. I want to continue mastering that in 2012. I want this year to be a year where I simply do the things that are important to me. I want to release myself from all of the shoulds and conditions and expectations and just let my true self flow out from my pores.

And you?

What is your theme for the year? How do you remind yourself of your theme so you can continue moving forward? Or do you set resolutions?

If one of your themes for the year is around finding your passion or getting unstuck around your big idea, there’s still time to join us in this round of Group Coaching. The next groups won’t start until April/May of this year!


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Brand Spankin’ New Year.

By Nailah on January 2, 2012

Happy New Year, y’all! 2012 is finally here. Check out the quick 3:40 video for a little inspiration for battling resolution overwhelm.

Need some help planning out 2012? Check out my posts on my Annual Review process – Part 1, Part 2 – and on Making Positive Life Changes.

Annnnnd if you’re really ready to hit 2012 running sign up for one of my Polka Dot Groups. You’ll get clear & courageous with a supportive, collaborative group of awesome ladies like yourself.

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